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As we begin our work together I
will spend some time with you listening to and identifying
your immediate concerns. We will think together about
your goals and come up with an initial realistic timeline
for the therapy process. The first session or two will
be a time for you to get comfortable talking about yourself
and for me to listen and begin to understand your unique
story and world view.
Most people who come to see a therapist
know there is something they want to change but they
feel stuck as to how to do so. Sometimes there are reasons
for holding on to old patterns that are outside of our
immediate awareness – we may be deriving some unrecognized
benefit or sense of safety from keeping things the same,
even as we want very much to change. What will happen
–good or bad - to our relationships, our routines
and our sense of ourselves if we make significant changes?
Therapy can be a place to explore these possibilities,
to become conscious of our unconscious road blocks,
and to resolve and negotiate internal conflicts.
In our work together I will help
you come to new awareness and help to facilitate change
by keeping the focus on the issues you might avoid or
not see on your own. We will work together to gently
identify the ways you protect yourself against the threat
of significant change. We may explore the history of
your life, your relationships and your past decisions
to understand old hurts and inhibitions, looking at
things in new and deeper ways, understanding from a
fresh perspective. You may find that we talk sometimes
about your history and sometimes about your present
day life, knitting them together, in order to understand
how the past influences the present.
People often change through the
context of relationship and the therapy relationship
is an important element in achieving the changes you
are seeking. Sometimes unresolved issues from past relationships
may be unwittingly projected onto the therapy relationship.
In addition to my role of listening, reflecting and
illuminating what you are saying, I will also be aware
of what is happening in the process of our interactions.
By establishing a strong rapport and also attending
to what is happening in the room, you and I can understand
a lot about your relationships with others in your life.
I will be responsible for keeping clear and healthy
boundaries so that we can do the best work together.
Your Role
You have come in to work on things
and make changes – and I believe you know what
you are doing. To that end, I leave it largely up to
you to initiate the content of each session. It is helpful
if you will do some thinking between sessions about
what you think is important to discuss, or you may find
it works better for you to take a moment at the beginning
of each hour to chose a direction. At times I may inquire
about a particular area of concern, but I will encourage
you to trust your self and your own awareness about
what is important to think about and discuss each time
we meet. I will also be open to hearing your feedback
about how the therapy process is going for you and any
concerns you may have.
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